Negotiating with the enemy

Who knew my husband was so good at international relations? Interspecies relations even. Today Li was on his way back to school after lunch. Somehow in the process of leaving a giant wasp/hornet thing flew in. Li told me to hurry and hide in the bathroom and I smiled thinking what a great protector I married. A few minutes later I was singing a different tune. I was still in the bathroom and my brave husband was half-heartedly waving a flyswatter at the bug. After awhile he seemed to give up and remarked, "Well, I'm glad I'm not going to be in the house for awhile." I couldn't believe he would just leave me, but at the same time thought it couldn't really be that hard to get him. Fed up, I jumped out of the bathroom and said, "Let me do it." I took the swatter and one look at his big sharp stinger and snuck quietly back into the bathroom. At which point Li exclaimed, "I have an idea." He kept looking from me to the bug and then suddenly said, "Let me in there." This was his big idea?!

Once he was safely inside the bathroom he opened the door a crack and, I am not kidding, started negotiating with the little monster.... "Listen hornet, there has been a misunderstanding. We just want you to leave our house so we can live in peace. I'm not sure how you got in here, but you weren't supposed to come in. I need to go back to school and my beautiful wife needs her house back....." On and on he went. I was laughing so hard that I had to muffle the sound with a bath towel. (I didn't want to shoot down his hopes and dreams of future negotiations.)

I'm sure you'll all be surprised to hear that the negotiations failed. (I don't think Li speaks hornet, because he didn't even budge.) Eventually Li got up enough courage to put his arm out far enough to get a broom which he sort of flung at the hornet from the crack in the door. When we opened the door he was no where to be seen. We crept out cautiously fly-swatter and bath towel in hand. We couldn't find him anywhere. Maybe it took a minute to translate from human to bee. Or maybe the broom handle flying at him was a more international communication!

If I had to pick I'd go with the husband who makes me laugh over the one who saves me from a bee sting. But I'm so lucky I got a two-for-one! And as an extra bonus he even bought me a giant snicker bar tonight, claiming that I earned it with all my hard work at yoga. He's a keeper.